Debra Newell on the way shes portrayed in Dirty John: I dont feel desperate
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Mild spoilers for Dirty John, which is based on a true story that’s been widely publicized
Over the holiday I binged the Dirty John podcast, which told the true story of John Meehan and Debra Newell. This fascinating and horrific story has been made into a Bravo series starring Connie Britton and Eric Bana, airing now. For those unfamiliar with this, John Meehan just got out of jail in 2014 when he met successful interior designer Debra Newell online. (A full timeline is here.) He misrepresented himself as a successful doctor when he was in fact a failed nurse anesthesiologist who lost his license for stealing drugs. He had served several prison stints for committing multiple crimes, most against women. John moved quickly with Debra and she was completely charmed by him, moving in with him after a few weeks and marrying him after less than three months together. Debra’s young adult daughters, one of whom lived with her before she moved in with John, rightfully distrusted John and warned their mother about him. Debra ignored their pleas (her behavior makes more sense when you learn about her family’s past) and remained loyal to John for a time, missing so many red flags. The way Debra explains it on the podcast, John was just so helpful and loving that she didn’t see anything else. (Most people know how this turns out but I’m not going to reveal it here.)
To her credit, Debra has been very open with the press about this painful period in her life. She’s a strong woman who got sucked into an abusive relationship. You can be highly competent and brave in some areas of your life and still get taken in by an abuser and con artist. They’re the best at scamming women after all. In the Bravo show, of which I’ve seen the first episode so far, they show Debra dating multiple men who are disappointing to her. However Debra tells US that this isn’t accurate and she wasn’t desperate when she met him. She also planned her escape carefully:
“Remember, it’s Hollywood,” she told Us. “First of all, I don’t feel desperate. I think that it’s very natural to want to have a companion and to be in love I was not quite described the way that I think that I am.”
She continued: “The other thing is I did do my investigation – unfortunately too late. It is very, very important to do it in the beginning, obviously. But I did do an investigation into John, and I went into hiding. I had to prepare to go into hiding for seven months, which isn’t just walking away. You have to change accounts, find another place, look at your business, get a new phone, a new residence, even rental cars. There was time to prepare for it, and so I was in hiding for seven months.”
On Monday, January 14, the story will be told again through a two-hour documentary on Oxygen, Dirty John: The Dirty Truth. Newell, 59, explained to Us that on the podcast and show, they missed what Meehan really did: “coercive control.”
“Laura Richards opened my eyes to it. It really helped relieve me, to some degree, knowing that it is such a common thing, unfortunately, but I now knew what happened to me and that it could happen to anyone,” the interior designer explained. “There was a relief there knowing that somebody really knew this type of person and that it is very, very common.”
Many who watched the show took to social media to react, shaming Newell for continuing her relationship with Meehan. However, the response was “better than it was from the podcast,” she said. “More people are becoming aware that it could happen to them. You’re still dealing with negative comments, but it’s OK. I’m tough.”
I got so immersed in the podcast that I didn’t realize how much they missed about the abuse Debra endured and how common that is. People often blame victims for staying in these type of relationships when they should have our sympathy and understanding. Not only is Debra dealing with everything about this still-recent tragedy getting widespread attention, she’s also facing criticism for marrying a man who had decades of experience scamming women. I like how Connie Britton seems to understand that though, and how she’s explained that and defended Debra.
Incidentally, US has personal photos from Debra too. I couldn’t find her Instagram so I don’t feel comfortable posting those here but you can see them on US’s site. They kind of bring this whole story home. I did find Debra’s daughter Terra’s Instagram! Terra is a dog groomer and she loves dogs. I was so happy to see these. Let’s look at photos of her good dogs! Cash has so much personality.
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